I'm 28. Yay, great...whoopdeedoo!
So today's my birthday. Honestly, I should be celebrating it. Maybe go out with some friends, eat, have a few bottles, get shit faced drunk and whatnot. This is how it normally goes during birthdays for people over 20. I celebrated my last birthday by going out with friends and family. We ate, we drank, we talked and it was fun. This year, I don't know. I just don't feel it anymore. I'm depressed. This was supposed to be the year it was going to happen for me. This was the year that I was supposed to get married or at least be engaged to someone. This was the year that I was expecting for the "big bang" in my life. It just didn't happen and it isn't going to happen. I'm tending to a wound that's still healing and picking up the pieces where they were left off. It'd be a while...
Don't get me wrong, career wise, I'm very happy. I've landed an awesome job. It pays uber times more than what I was getting back in the Philippines. I get to travel, I get a laptop, free cellphone plan and free healthclub. But how good is the job if you can't be "happy"? I'm happy for my ex that she found someone. She's content and happy because she's got what she's been longing for. I just wasn't the right person I guess. Yeah, we've heard this story before and the wheels on the bus go round and round. But seriously, she and the women before her have what they want. I don't. Due to the fact, I've stopped wishing, stopped hoping and stopped praying about ever getting back with her. If I did, it'd kill me. Just the thought really just nails me deeper into the ground. Honestly, it's no longer in my hands. I'm "just" ok as a friend and to be at least part of her world. But how about me? That's 4 downed relationships and I'm not getting any younger. I hate being alone. All I pray for now is a little happiness and some peace.
Sigh...misery does love company.
Here's to a great 28th year. Cheers...
posted by Wanderer @
10:34 AM
Comments: 0
